Enjoy this beautiful poem written by Eve - and comments are welcome.
Moon Girl
She walks above the distant land
Amidst the scattered stars
A silver, sad silhouette
A fleeting figure from afar
Where once she danced with comets
The moonlight in her hair
Now a captive, crushed and cursed
The moon she has to bear
On bended knee she hugs the moon
And seems for a moment to pray
For courage, for strength, for fortitude
To turn the night into day
She heaves the moon upon her back
Slim muscles start to quiver
The shining, shimmering silver orb
Soon it starts to shiver
Destiny, fate, cruel curse ne’er broken
She stumbles alone through the sky
Her eternal quest to carry the moon
Out of sight before morning is nigh.
Frail hands clenched she staggers forth
Bearing her burden on
Pale feet bruised, cut by the stars
She wonders why the night is so long.
She falters, her breath comes in glittering gasps
Shattered shards of pain fall from her eyes
From shaking shoulders the burden is lifted
And so, the moon sets, ‘for sun’s rise
But though the morn is now on its way
The rosy blush of dawn here
Droplets of diamonds linger still in the sky
The path of the Moon Girl's tears
Wow, Eve I absolutely love this poem! This is so impressive, she's like the female/moon version of Atlas. You use such beautiful words to describe her burden; it's quite captivating. There's some very powerful imagery here, you painted a very vivid picture in my mind. It's got that whole 'cold beauty' vibe and left me wondering what she had done or what had happened to make her become 'The Moon Girl'. Is there a story/myth behind this? I'd love to find out. Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteGem
I love the image of the Moon Girl your description creates in my mind. It's of strength and frailty at the same time. There is some great use of alliteration in your poem. I agree with Gem that your poem has a mythical quality as if there is a background story. However the story isn't needed as the poem stands magnificently on its own.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn
Thank you both Gem and Carolyn for your beautiful comments :) I was inspired partly by the story of Atlas, as well as a picture I have on my bedroom wall, both of which helped me invent Moon Girl. I'm so glad that you both understand my poem and are able to visualise what I was trying to get across. Thank you so much for reading. As for a background story - I took some of the elements from the story of Atlas (very perceptive Gem) except that Moon Girl was an innocent that had been captured somehow and forced to carry this tremendous burden every single night. Other than that I didn't really have other concrete details as to how she got there, so I only hint in the poem, which adds to the mystery I guess!
ReplyDeleteEve